If it’s not you in my heart, I don’t want to carry it on.

First blog since September. Besides pictures or videos, I guess.

In that time I got a job, quit a job, got a new job, got a house, fell in love with my wife again (it happens nearly every day.)

My new job is stay at home dad. It has good hours, little pay and no benefits. Unless hanging out with your awesome kids is a benefit? It definitely is. Plus Stef is usually working 3 nights a week so we have 4 days to hang out together which is more time than we’ve ever had so yeah, there are some benefits. Continue reading If it’s not you in my heart, I don’t want to carry it on.

2016 Film List

Favorites:
La La Land
Swiss Army Man
Pete’s Dragon
Zootopia
Everybody Wants Some
Tickled
The Nice Guys
Hidden Figures
Arrival


20th Century Women
Why Him?
A Bigger Splash
Snowden
Allied
The Hollars
Deepwater Horizon
Rainbow Time
Bad Santa 2
Miss Peregrin’s Home for Peculiar Children
The Light Between Oceans
Silence
Moana
Operator
Patriot’s Day
Gold
Blair Witch
Fences
Kate Plays Christine
Nerdland
Nocturnal Animals
Thunder Road (Short)
The Edge of Seventeen
Patterson
Other People
Keeping Up With the Joneses
Masterminds
The Fits
Toni Erdmann
Christine
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
The Founder
The Girl on the Train
The Autopsy of Jane Doe
Hidden Figures
Hacksaw Ridge
Loving
David Brent: Life on the Road
Star Wars Rogue One
Moonlight
Pet
La La Land
The Magnificent Seven
A Monster Calls
Sully
American Honey
The Red Turtle
Manchester By The Sea
Lion
Jackie
Don’t Think Twice
The Birth of a Nation
The BFG
War Dogs
Office Christmas Party
Jason Bourne
Arrival
Little Sister
Doctor Strange
Wizard Mode
King Cobra
Blue Jay
Don’t Breathe
Life, Animated
Bad Moms
Independence Day: Resurgence
Nerve
The Infiltrator
Tickled
Cafe Society
Star Trek Beyond
Joshy
Ghostbusters
Hunt for the Wilderpeople
31
The Shallows
Weiner
Captain Fantastic
Florence Foster Jenkins
Maggie’s Plan
X-Men: Apocalypse
The Neon Demon
Money Monster
Central Intelligence
The Conjuring 2
The Secret Life of Pets
Everybody Wants Some
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
A Hologram for the King
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Wiener-Dog
Suicide Squad
Warcraft
Pete’s Dragon
The Nice Guys
Angry Birds
Hell or High Water
Sing Street
Swiss Army Man
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Hello, My Name Is Doris
Midnight Special
The Brothers Grimsby
Eddie the Eagle
Neighbors 2
Zootopia
The Do Over
The Confirmation
The Family Fang
The Jungle Book
The Finest Hours
Zoolander 2
Captain America: Civil War
10 Cloverfield Lane
45 Years
Jane Got A Gun
High Rise
Deadpool
Triple 9
Sleeping With Other People
The Invitation
Batman V Superman
Hell & Back
Kung Fu Panda 3
Pee Wee’s Big Holiday
Knight of Cups

On Inside Out And Being A Bad Parent

Today Penelope and I watched Inside Out. Which is a metaphor for what it did to my tear ducts. First, if you aren’t familiar here is Wiki’s summary: The film is set in the mind of a young girl, Riley Andersen, where five personified emotions—Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust—try to lead her through life as she moves with her parents to a new city.

The key part there is the end, “moves to a new city.”

Two months ago we moved states away with our three girls. Ages 12, 5, 1. Away from everything that we all have known our whole lives. Family, comfort, jobs, you name it.

In the film, everything for Riley that was joy started to turn to sadness after the move. I started trying to relate the film to everything that has happened since the move. Arguments, fits, laughter, anger, everything. “Has everything that has happened since the move been because of the move?” “Did we fuck up our kids psyche?” “Why don’t we play with them more?” “Why is an animated movie making me feel this?”
Continue reading On Inside Out And Being A Bad Parent

I am delusional with love.

Next week will be 2 months since we moved. I think everyone is settling in well. I think Penelope misses being close to family but she’s getting there.

I started a job a month ago. Not sure if it’s something I want to keep doing though. I’ve never worked outside full time and that’s all this is and it is hot here. Plus still not sure what to make of the company. So many rules and corporate bs.
Continue reading I am delusional with love.